Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
