just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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