If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
