I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
