I wish I only lived at night.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
