Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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