so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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