is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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