I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
