how can u be prego again
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
