That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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