I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
