So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
