i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
