are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
