Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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