i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
