How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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