i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
