Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
