We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
