Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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