I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Mom said you looked used
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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