Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
