As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
