What a fucking waste of an outfit
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize