mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
