Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
