Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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