i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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