Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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