Need sex. Gaining weight.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I need moral support for this bender
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
