Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
