You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
