She said her name was "party"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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