I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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