I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
