Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize