spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
