My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize