Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
