Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
