that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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