Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize