you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
