I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
