Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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