We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
