You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
