I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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