so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
