It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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