dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
