She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
