Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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