why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
