Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
