What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
